Alcoholics Rejoice: These Shoes Will Hide Your Mini Bottles Of Johnnie Walker

As a former imbiber of anything ending in -ohol, trust me when I tell you, you can hide booze in just about anything: a coat pocket, a stuffed animal, a feed bag. But, one thing I never considered, is putting booze in my shoes. It just seems cumbersome.

Well, fear not you glorious lushes craving to fill your leather soles with liquor. Now — and quite elegantly — you can stuff a small bottle of Johnnie Walker in your shoes with these amazing Johnnie Walker Oliver Sweeney Brogues. Created by London-based Oliver Sweeney, these Italian leather, hand-crafted and painted beauts come complete with a Johnnie Walker branded tote bag and box, red stitching, the Johnnie Walker logo, and — of course — a compartment in the heel to carry your shot of JW whisky.

There’s a few setbacks to the shoes for those who care to hide their boozing better than Liberace’s sexuality. For one, “JW” is embroidered on the back in red stitching, which is only a tell for those in the know. But, don’t you dare cross your legs while sitting or allow your foot to swing too high while walking: the “secret compartment” in the heel is see-through. Also, and perhaps most disappointingly, the cap of the bottle sticks out of the back of the shoe. Nothing a little creative use of tape can’t fix.

These babies are going for $489, but right now they’re out of stock (yes, I did inquire as to their availability), so you’ll have to wait until January for the next shipment. They’re not perfect, but neither is alcoholism. Just don’t be like this guy: