Another Seven-Diamond Specimen, Governor Spitzer?

03.10.08 10 years ago 21 Comments

I know what it’s like to be a man of integrity. Despite what the papers and, on occasion, the authorities have had cause to say about me, I’m an honest businessman and, you, a servant of the people.

It appears our arrangement may have landed you in a spot of hot water. For this, I am sorry. When entering into such a transaction, I’m afraid there’s the expectation of a considerable amount of risk for someone of your position. Xiochita tells me of your many positions.

You have been a valued customer, to be sure. Your night-long sessions with the Diabolical Diana at $5,500 an hour put me in pink Gators for life.

I hope with arrival of your sudden legal trouble there won’t be the temptation to tell the authorities of our dealings. It would accomplish little to palliate your predicament. I also think the consequences could be somewhat dire for your loved ones, as well as your friend and fellow client, Mr. Umenyiora.

Many have called you something of a latter-day Eliot Ness. I suppose I should have foreseen this being something of a problem. There can’t be two of us, you see. I mean, look at my hat! The role was clearly mine for always.

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