Chupacabra Of D*cks: A Comprehensive Guide To The 'Archer' Panel At Comic-Con

Our friends at Archer and Floyd County were amazing enough — as always — to hook up Team UPROXX with front row passes to the Archer panel so that we could experience a proper Comic-Con panel in all its glory. It didn’t suck. Here’s a comprehensive guide to everything you need to know to pretend you were there. All photos that don’t look like crap courtesy of Nadia Chaudhury.

The Sterling Archer Comic-Con Intro

The panel kicked off with a fun, specially made Comic-Con segment featuring Sterling himself thanking everyone for taking a break from writing crossover erotic fan fiction to attend. Cable-unfriendly language and future spoilers being spoiled by razor blade-like hang-gliding winds followed. I enjoyed it.

Full Season 4 Episode

We were then treated to a never-before-seen episode from Season 4 that I think was titled “Coyote,” but I’m kind of an idiot so I may be wrong. I don’t want to spoil the hilarity so I’ll share just enough to make everyone really jealous.

It’s set on the US-Mexico border and features running autism jokes, running immigration jokes, and various gunshot wounds. It’s extremely difficult to choose just one, but if I must my favorite line was, “Was there not a cock hungry vibe?” Brushing up on your Espanol beforehand also won’t hurt.

There’s also Lana and Cyril undercover as young family…

And a Pam flashback sideboob shot that will pacify all the Pamaholics.

I could of used more Krieger, but I could always use more Krieger, which I’m pretty sure is what Adam Reed wants. He also shared several tidbits of knowledge for Season 4: 1) Get excited for an epic undersea battle, 2) Malory marries a guy named Ron Cadillac who owns six Cadillac dealerships in the tri-state area, 3) There will be new ISIS employees, and 4) a Kenny Loggins cameo is maybe (but not really) in the works.

The 5 Funniest Impromptu Panel Jokes

5) “That’s a dumb question.” – H. Jon Benjamin in response to an audience question as to whether voice acting is bad for standup comedy.

4) “We should make an episode that makes that makes her daughter die of alcohol poisoning.” – H. Jon Benjamin in response to an audience member sharing the Archer drinking game her daughter made.

3) “Hey Pam, what’s up?” – What Amber Nash and her neighbor who modeled for Pam say to each other when they cross paths at the grocery store.

2) “There is no room.” – H. Jon Benjamin after Adam Reed told an audience member that it’s not entirely true that he writes every episode alone in a room with a bottle of whiskey.

1) “Eat a bowl of cum.” – What H. Jon Benjamin does to prep for his voice acting work. But not on Saturdays, because he’s Jewish.

Who Each Voice Actor Would Want To Play Their Character In A Live Action Movie

Chris Parnell – Alexander Skarsgard
Aisha Taylor – Would get in the Octagon and cut a b*tch if she tried to take the role.
H. Jon Benjamin – Jon Hamm
Adam Reed – The guy who created ALF

As always we’ll be bringing you all the Archer coverage you can handle as we inch closer to Season 4 in January. Now for all the panel images you can handle…