This Embarrassing Army Mom Will Soon Prompt Her Son To Hide In A Footlocker


This story sounds all too believable for those who’ve encountered a helicopter parent, but there’s the added twist of this one being an Army mom. These moms are supposed to be even tougher than a run-of-the-mill, civilian mother because the Army is chock full of badassery. Surely, there’s no soldier who’s moved past basic training with a mom still calling the shots, right? That claim is debatable in light of this conversation, which revolves around a series of texts with murky origins.

Someone shared these screenshots with the 5Bravo Facebook page, which is chock full of military humor and other manly things. If these texts are real, it sounds like Army mom encountered a soldier on a dating site. One thing led to another, and she casually mentioned her son, who hasn’t been doing so well. He failed to earn a combat patch, and mom is concerned about his self-esteem. Then she drops attitude with her texting partner, and he pays her back with a series of awful, no-good tips.

Before the end of the conversation, mom has resolved to contact her son’s Brigade Command Sergeant Major and Battalion Command Sergeant Major. She’s gonna give them an earful about the missing combat patch and “nip this in the bud.” Oh, this won’t turn out well. Not well at all.

(Via 5Bravo on Facebook and BroBible)