Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Spent The Last Week Using European Bike Rides And Rhetorical Questions To Learn Instagram

I can just picture the cast of Expendables 2 huddling over a round of Ensure boilermakers, discussing how they’re each going to do their part to connect with the kids to promote the movie. Sly signed up for a handle on the Bodybuilding Forum. Bruce gave Ashton a call. Arnold was all like, “I wheel lurn THEE EENSTAGRAUM.” And that was that.
So early last week Arnold shared his first ever Instagram photo on his completely boring and useless Twitter account. It’s of him playing no one on the world’s fanciest foosball table in what may or may not be an enormous walk-in closet designed to look like the floor of an Armani Exchange. Caption: “How am I doing?” Classic Arnold.
I can’t imagine there will ever be a time in my life where I’m not fascinated by the man. As far as I’m concerned his Total Recall DVD commentary perfectly encapsulates everything about him. And with all of us catching mild Expendables 2 fever (you should really get that checked out) why don’t we take a quick trip through what Arnold has shared while learning how to use the inexplicably popular blurry photo service thus far?

Needs more feet at the beach.
Copious amounts of alcohol and uppers.
No, no, no. Your index finger, not your thumb.
And paid companionship, amirite?
Sure that’s Paris? Might be Tennessee.
I have always wanted to get the feel of premiere. And now that longing has been fulfilled.
NOW someone is getting the hang of what Instagramming is all about.
Holy sh*t that was a long time ago.
Pretty sure Boris was withholding information.
NEVER Forget. If only he’d known about Instagram then. If only…