I have to admit, I rarely get excited about a celebrity joining Twitter anymore — as Maske noted the other day “a celebrity announcing they’re joining Twitter is about as exciting as me announcing I’m going to have leftover eggplant parm for lunch” — but I was a little geeked over Samuel L. Jackson joining Twitter this week. I mean, how could I not be? He’s only the baddest mothaf*cka around — Jules Freakin’ Winnfield for the love of God!
On another note (just bear with me here), everyone with a twitter account knows that the most annoying Twitter user is the “can I get a retweet” guy. YOU MUST EARN YOUR GODDAMN RETWEETS, PEOPLE! And arguably the only person on Twitter more annoying than the “can I get a retweet” guy is the person, usually a celeb or someone with a lot of followers, who actually retweets the “can I get a retweet” guy. YOU’RE ENABLING THEM…STOP IT!
So taking all of this into consideration, the most annoying person on Twitter has to be the rare celebrity who begs for retweets and follows from other celebrities, and that’s exactly what Samuel L. Jackson’s been doing.
I think this calls for an open letter…
Dear Samuel L. Jackson,
YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! You’re Samuel L. Jackson, for Christ’s sake. You don’t need to ask anyone, celeb or peasant, to retweet or follow you. Your mere existence on Twitter will provoke people to follow you. You don’t even really have to try hard to be funny and/or interesting like the rest of us. Just exist on Twitter. That’s it. Be yourself. That’s all you have to do.
Did you eat an egg salad sandwich for lunch today? Then just tweet about it SLJ style, something along the lines of, “An egg salad sandwich just said I looked like a bitch, so I ate the mothafucka.” It’s really that simple.
Give it some time and your celeb pals will discover you on there and they’ll follow you back. In the meantime, stop soliciting retweets and follows. It’s goddamn unbecoming of you.
PS: Why the hell are you posing with a ladder in your Twitter profile pic?
(HT: Beach Side Property)