CNBC’s Darren Rovell Has Appointed Himself Chief Of Twitter Police

12.14.11 8 years ago 5 Comments

Let me just get right to this: Darren Rovell, host of CNBC’s awful Sports Biz, is the worst. A douchebag’s douchebag of staggering proportions. A man with one of the more punchable face in the history of punchable faces. However, there is something actually worse than Darren Rovell: Darren Rovell on Twitter. If someone asked me to describe Darren Rovell’s Twitter persona I’d probably go with a sh*t-stain wrapped in a turd that’s smothered in diarrhea. That’s how annoying/insufferable it is.

Case in point: When Rovell reached the 100,000 follower mark this past summer, he actually took the time to write a list of 100 Twitter rules on how to be good at Twitter so all the peasants out there can maybe one day have as many followers as he has, when in reality the whole thing could have boiled down to this: Be on TV. That’s it. There’s no way — No f-ing way — Darren Rovell would have 150k followers if he wasn’t on national TV every day (I don’t even want to begin to think about how many a$sholes he had to suck to make that happen).

For instance, here’s a sample Rovell tweet — one he made on the night the Penn State scandal broke, essentially arguing that ESPN covering a story about a major college football program covering up a kid-f*cking scandal was bad for ratings.

Darren Rovell, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, while you may think that there’s no way the murky depths of Rovell’s Twitter awfulness could plunge any lower, he’s now gone and really outdone himself: Darren Rovell apparently unfollows people he believes are breaking his Twitter rules, and then actually sends them secret direct messages to make damn sure the unfollowed are made aware of their offensive behavior.

This came to light this morning when Justin Stangel, who shares the duties of co-head writer and co-executive producer of the Letterman show with his brother Eric, tweeted the following…

And what, you ask, was Stangel’s offense? Tweeting clearly fake “Follow Friday” retweets like this one…

Following Stangel’s tweet, MSNBC’s Chuck Todd and Courtney Hazlett both came forward to say that they had also been unfollowed by Rovell for transgressions against the Twitter gods.

Jesus, can you imagine what it must be like to work with Rovell? He’s probably the guy who secretly emails your boss to tattle on you after he passes your cubicle on the way to the sh*tter and and sees you watching a cat video.

Darren Rovell must be stopped. It’ll be a great day in America if #unfollowdarrenrovell ever trends on Twitter. Just sayin’, Internet.

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