If there’s one thing that Costco’s free samples prove, it’s that none of us deserve nice things. That’s because two men in a Burbank Costco got into a fight over tiny pieces of Nutella waffles, sending one of them to the hospital and the other to jail, where he’s being held on $50,000 bail.
The fight happened on Sunday morning when the two men, 24-year-old Derrick Gharabighi and a 78-year-old unidentified victim, faced off against each other in front of a sample cart where, according to the LA Times, the two had a disagreement about how many free samples were too many free samples. The altercation started when the senior citizen accused Gharabighi of hogging the waffles and not leaving any for the rest of the people patiently waiting to try some, and then pretend to contemplate buying them (knowing full well they won’t). Gharabighi, understandably upset about being called out for something so embarrassing, decided to let his fists respond instead of saying “sorry” or suggesting that the older man go to hell. That’s when the police were called.
The senior citizen was taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for swelling and a cut on his forehead. Gharabighi, however, was charged with inflicting great bodily injury and elder abuse, something that’s both awful and totally not worth a couple of samples. Next time, he might consider doing what I do when someone accuses me of taking too many free samples (something that happens rarely now that I’ve got the eat, walk away, repeat method perfected to an art): maintain eye contact, chew with your mouth open, and take another one for good measure. You’ve paid for that Costco membership and that entitles you to eat and drink as many cookies, waffles, and tiny paper cups of juice as your stomach desires.
No word on whether either of the men were banned from ever entering a Costco again. That would be a greater punishment than jail, though. Have you had Costco’s cheese pizza?
(Via the Los Angeles Times)