Two Chicago Dudes Are Seeking A John Stamos Lookalike Roommate On Craigslist

…And that is definitely the most bizarre headline I have ever written. So anyway: Two noted heterosexual 30-year-old men have put out an ad on Craigslist, hoping to find a “Jesse Katsopolis / John Stamos Lookalike” to share their Roscoe Village, Chicago apartment for just $500 per month. Oh Craigslist, you so crazy. The author of the ad states that he has a daughter and is relocating from New York, so I guess presumably he’s the Danny Tanner of this situation.

If you happen to be a Chicago-based Jesse Katsopolis ringer and would like to throw your hat in the ring, the ad states very strict criteria:

Be of Greek Descent
Know how to play the guitar/drums
Have great hair
Be obsessed with Elvis Presley
Also be good with Children because just like Full House you will need to take an active part in raising my child.
Whenever you pick up the phone you must say “Talk to me”
When things aren’t going your way you must say ” Have Mercy”

The Huffington Post points out that the ad may not be totally 100% legit because the provided address and photo of the building in the listing don’t match up — but I call bullcrap because it doesn’t mention anything about having a sweet vest collection or being friends with the Beach Boys. I know a scam when I see one.

Can somebody please just get those babies out of the way of the sexy?