Someone out there wants the world to believe that British Prime Minister David Cameron once had disgusting sexual relations with a dead pig. For those of you behind on the news from across the pond, billionaire Michael Ashcroft, a former political ally of Cameron’s, has written Call Me Dave, an unauthorized biography of the British PM, and in it, Lord Ashcroft claims that Cameron once inserted his private parts into a dead pig’s mouth as part of his initiation requirements for the Piers Gaveston Society, which the Daily Mail claims “specializes in bizarre rituals and sexual excess.” Sounds like a blast!
The wedge between the two men reportedly came after Cameron “betrayed” Ashcroft and refused to give him a government gig. That’ll almost always cause a guy to accuse the other man of f*cking a dead pig. Specifically, the accusation comes from one of Cameron’s old “Oxford contemporaries,” whom Ashcroft claims shared the “initiation” story three times, each telling with more elaborate detail. Eventually, the source (“himself an MP”) admitted to having seen a photo of the act, described that photo, and even told Ashcroft the name of the person who owns the photo. All the while, Ashcroft admits that he hasn’t seen the photo, but he knows that there might have been pig heads at the Piers Gav parties, so what the hell? If you can’t trust unnamed politicians screwing over their rivals, then who can you trust?
Regardless of proof, the public has responded in typical fashion – with hilarious memes!
https://twitter.com/DavidJo52951945/status/645985224883572736
Even the Russian Embassy is enjoying what people have lazily dubbed #PigGate, which also eerily resembles an episode of Black Mirror. But if you’re worried that Cameron is curled up in a ball on the floor of his office in shame, don’t. The PM has jokes, too.
For more on rich people accusing each other of porking, anchors Tom Storey and Briana Lane weigh in on today’s episode of The Desk.