Donald Glover Tells Marc Maron That He Masturbates To Susan Sarandon

Last night I listened to Marc Maron’s podcast interview with Donald Glover. The two spent over an hour discussing a range of things — Glover’s three years as a writer on 30 Rock, his standup career, getting cast on Community, his whole Childish Gambino thing — and though it was interesting and enjoyable I kind of came away hating myself for not being near as talented and accomplished as Donald Glover is.

With that said, there were a few laugh out loud moments in the podcast, but none more LOL-y than when Glover was discussing the sexual confusion he experienced in his early teen years, specifically how many people assumed he was gay because he was into the arts.

“There was a point where I thought I was gay. Only because people kept saying I was. Like, I always, I always liked girls…Oh man I jerked off so much to, what was it, ‘White Palace,’ that movie with Susan Sarandon, like, ah man that was like, my thing. And Toni Braxton videos…I’d still do Susan Sarandon. She’s so gorgeous.”

After this somewhat unorthodox revelation (seriously, she’s not unattractive but who faps to Susan Sarandon?!) Maron then reminded Glover that Sarandon is recently divorced from Tim Robbins: “I think you might have a shot…reach out.” Frankly, I would kind of love to see a Glover/Sarandon coupling. Make it happen, Internet!

And I suppose this explains the following tweet from a few weeks ago…

Meanwhile, who hasn’t jerked off to a Toni Braxton video before?

(Ed. Note: If anyone affiliated from the Marc Maron WTF happens to read this, it would be a big help to people like me if you offered transcripts of your shows online. The interviews are often interesting and filled with great quotes but transcribing sh*t is the worst. It’s just a massive time suck and I can honestly say I’d write about the show more often if at least a partial transcript was made available to me. Seriously, hire an intern to do it and then blast out emails to bloggers with highlights from each show — it’d go a long way in spreading the word about the podcast. You can thank me later.)

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