Donald Trump’s Old Post Office Hotel In Washington DC Can’t Have A Strip Club

Senior Writer
11.05.13 3 Comments

Everybody’s favorite controversial real estate mogul Donald Trump and his daughter, Ivanka, will soon oversee more than $250 million in renovations to the Old Post Office Pavilion in Washington DC, and opinions have been mixed. Many people were upset that the Trumps won the bid to lease and renovate the historic home of the Postmaster General, while many others thought it was about time that someone came in and fixed that old joint up, especially if it means turning it into a luxury hotel that stimulates the area’s economy and creates hundreds of new jobs.

But for those who were and are still concerned that the Donald might be going gaudy with the pavilion, the Washington Times recently revealed a list of the businesses that Trump cannot bring to his 271-room hotel project. You might think that these are “No duh” types of businesses, but remember that they were still important enough to be included in the 319 pages of leasing documents.

  • Gentlemen’s clubs, topless cabarets or “all male revues” (although adult-oriented entertainment on the tv in the hotel room or on personal electronic devices is permitted).
  • Escort services, erotic clothing/equipment/sex toy stores or condom stores.
  • Adult video stores or adult book stores.
  • Discount layaway jewelry.
  • “Sellers of illegal drugs or narcotics and paraphernalia relating thereto.”
  • Pawn shops.
  • Bail bondsmen.
  • Tattoo parlors.
  • Fish and bait shops.
  • Dollar stores.

Also, no dentists are allowed. I assume that’s because dentists are the strippers of the medical profession. Hey, those aren’t my words as much as they’re my interpretation of how the United States government views dentists. If you ask me, dentists should march on the capital and let that anti-dentite Obama have a piece of their minds.

And then they can all go back to their rooms at the Old Post Office Pavilion and watch porn until they pass out.

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