Dove’s ‘Real Beauty Bottles’ Seriously Backfired, And The Reactions Are Real(ly) Funny

Homer Simpson once described a woman as being like a refrigerator (“they’re about six feet tall, 300 pounds, they make ice…”) and a beer (“they smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one…”). But he’s wrong on both accounts: women are actually a lot like body wash bottles.

At least according to Dove.

As part of the company’s “Real Beauty” campaign, Dove is releasing a limited-edition series of “Real Beauty Bottles.” There are six in total, ranging from tall to short, curvy to skinny. Or as Dove put it in a press release, “Each bottle evokes the shapes, sizes, curves, and edges that combine to make every woman their very own limited edition. They’re one of a kind — just like you.” Just like me?!? (No, because I don’t identify myself with things in my shower; and if I did, it would be with the mysterious mildew in the corner.) “But sometimes we all need reminding of that.” And there’s no better reminder of that than a soap bottle shaped like the Muses from Disney’s Hercules.

Soon, “you’re such a Lanky Bottle” will replace “you’re such a Monica.” Actually, that day is here, and so are reactions to Dove’s ill-advised campaign.