‘Drain Babies’ Is The Horror Comedy About Giant, Mutated Killing Sperm We Never Knew We Needed

You know what horror trope hasn’t been fully explored yet? Man-eating, killer sperm. After a semi exhaustive Google search, the only thing I was able to come up with was a vignette for something called “Wadzilla,” which was just one part of a four-part horror anthology movie called Chillerama.

Santa Fe screenwriter Luke Oberholtzer is hoping to change that, however, with the screenplay for his film, Drain Babies, which he describes as a mix between The Blob, Scream, and ’80s B-movie horror with the humor of American Pie and The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

We’re listening! In an attempt to get his screenplay picked up, Oberholtzer created the above teaser trailer as a proof of concept. If the name alone didn’t click with you, the opening shot of a dude vigorously jerking it in the shower ought to do it. In case you’re still confused, Oberholtzer offers up this description to his film from a press release:

Rick Little, an 18-year-old virgin, skirting the dreaded “friend zone”, works up the courage to ask Heather, the girl of his dreams, to prom… until he unwittingly creates a sewer dwelling sperm monster that terrorizes the community. Rick sets out with his two best friends in a race against time to uncover the truth and stop the monster before it destroys everything they’ve ever loved.

We just hope Syfy is listening out there, because the makers of Lavalantula, Man-Thing, and Dinocroc would be stupid to pass up on this.