Scientists Claim Climate Change Will Wipe Out The Gingers

Imagine, if you will, a world without redheads. It’s not a world many people particularly want to live in, but some are claiming that inevitably, climate change will drive glorious beings like Emma Stone and Bandersnatch Cummerb-er, Benedict Cumberbatch from the face of the Earth.

The theory, postulated by the Independent, is that basically only people with souls can handle the hot weather:

The red hair gene could be on the way out as it is thought to be a response to cloudy weather in Scotland, something which the country could see less and less of.

A gene mutation that yields red hair and pale skin which is more sensitive to light leaves DNA in skill cells more prone to sun damage and cancer, and if predictions of rising temperatures are correct evolution might cause it to regress.

However, it’s worth noting that if this happens, it’ll take hundreds of years, and secondly, it is somewhat dubious science. First of all, it’s based on an assumption, namely that people with red hair and fair skin evolved that way because Scotland gets no sun. That may not be the case for any number of reasons; it’s not like Scotland is Mordor, for example, the sun does occasionally shine there.

Secondly, it assumes that people with these genes, whether they express them or not, are unable to reproduce, a theory you can disprove pretty easily by visiting Tumblr for thirty seconds. In fact that isn’t a half-bad argument that redheads will thrive; most of our genetic code is relentless in its quest to fulfill our basic needs, and anything that gives us the edge in reproducing will inevitably be encouraged.

So, no, climate change is not taking out redheads. Coffee, chocolate, beer, and most of humanity, but not the redheads. Well, we guess the redheads too, but at least they’ve got the same chance as everyone else.