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Why You Wish You Were Spending Thanksgiving With Kenny Powers And His Family

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering around dead animals and feasting like hedonistic Romans. It’s also a time for watching your drunk uncle pass out at the dinner table after drinking one too many brandy sifters and gorging himself on all the dark meat. For the latter, there’s no better imbibing uncle to have than Kenny Powers (Danny McBride).

The star of Eastbound & Down (available to stream on HBO NOW), Powers was a one-man wrecking crew on the mound, but he was also a devastating jackhammer when it came to familial events. To say Powers had no chill would be an understatement. Everything he did boasted an exorbitant amount of panache, from drinking and drugging to extremely existential monologues about his career prospects. That’s why, if you were to ever pick a television character to spend Thanksgiving with, Kenny Powers would be the ultimate. Here are a few reasons why Powers is the best choice for turkey-day companionship.

Family Time Includes Target Practice

While Kenny Powers might not be the best at judging what is a proper (or smart) activity for a kid to engage in — he did plaster naked women all over his son’s bedroom walls —  it’s pretty clear that handling a weapon while your demented uncle gyrates and cavorts next to you looks like it would be fun.

A Game Of Catch Turns Into Deep Discussion Of Career Paths

Imagine the scenario: Your Uncle Kenny invites you out into the backyard for a game of catch. Things are going swimmingly until Kenny begins talking about his life path, and the fizzling out of his dreams. Watch Uncle Kenny fall into a deep vortex of depression, anxiety, and self-loathing as the first wisps of liquor pour into his blackened soul. All you wanted to do was throw a ball around. Nothing is ever simple with Uncle Kenny.

Playing With Uncle Kenny’s Toys Is Fun… For A While

Just because Kenny brought his jet ski to a family event does not mean that anyone can hop on at any time — he’s just trying to be prepared in case he hooks up with a prostitute that needs to be drenched by the ski’s wake.

Can you even fathom the high price of such a high-end jet ski and how greasy kid fingerprints will affect its resale value? Let’s not even talk about the possible damage that could be done to the steering while a child imagines a future where his own glorious mullet soars in the sea breeze as he glides across the water like some kind of God.

Uncle Kenny Is Cool With Kids Until Poop Happens

Everyone wants to hold the cute baby of the family until poopy happens. For that occasion, it’s best to keep Kenny away from the children. Not only is he not adroit at changing diapers, Uncle Kenny is just plain terrible when it comes to understanding the immature characteristics of youth. It’s almost like Kenny was born as a 41-year-old man with a joint hanging out of his mouth and a baggie of white substance hiding in his trousers — he forgets he was a kid once.

The Obligatory Dance Session Is Always Entertaining

Pants-off, dance-off time? Hell yes! Turkey and Jim Beam are a hell of a combo, but while your family might have one relative who is guided by those things and eager to shake it, few have the moves like Kenny Powers. Though, to be fair, there’s more than gravy fueling his display.

Uncle Kenny’s Friend’s Are A Blast

Kenny likes to hang out with an assortment of… well, let’s say peculiar friends. But what is one man’s peculiarity is another’s entertainment. Take Kenny’s friend Stevie, for instance. Stevie is not known to have the most verbose stock of terms when it comes to describing his plight as a hanger-on. Nor does he express himself in the most proper of fashions. But, give him a knife hand, and Stevie becomes one of the Thanksgiving memories that you would Instagram and cherish forever… if only you were hanging with K-P this turkey day and not your own weird family.

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