Just five days ago but what feels like decades ago, a dress destroyed the very fabric of the internet, leaving us all tragic shards of humanity, rocking back and forth muttering “black and blue, white and gold, black and blue, white and gold” while drooling on ourselves. If confronted with the individual who brought #TheDress into our lives, what could possibly be an appropriate punishment? A personal apology to be delivered to every person whose life was ruined by that Tumblr post? Maybe a lifetime with this tattoo? Well, if you’re Ellen DeGeneres, your answer is a trip to Grenada and a check for $10,000. Oh, and wholly appropriate underwear.
Not even Kim Kardashian was rewarded so handsomely for breaking the internet.