Facebook Fail-Log: January 2012 Edition

(ED. note: Due to an editorial oversight — i.e., I, Cajun Boy, forgot to schedule it — this feature is running a few days late. Please accept our apologies. Now let’s laugh at people who do and say dumb things on Facebook, shall we?)

Our last fail-log featured accidental abortion humor, sexism from your dad, and insanely bitter Walljacking. We’d love to say the intervening month had brought about a newer, calmer, more introspective Facebook…but that would be a blatant lie. Here’s how we rung out 2011 and rung in 2012: with hypocrisy, typos, and all the failures that make Facebook so incredibly endearing provided it isn’t something your friends did.

Warning: we kick this one off with something NSFW. Namely, a picture that shows precisely what you do after you propose to your girlfriend. Immediately followed by a whole bunch of ’90s flashbacks, for some reason.

I would look on the bright side, madam. Now there’s no secret about exactly what you’re getting. Or when this photo was taken.

To be fair, at least this photo doesn’t have a dong in it.

Oh, look, it’s a dirty joke from circa 1998.

Well, on the bright side, at least he was playing a game that didn’t suck wildly.

Actions have consequences, kids.

We really, really hope this was a joke. Otherwise Gary up there is going to crack wise about boiling rabbits.

Silly goose, they’re all robots! All of Hollywood became automated in 1988!

This is a painful reminder of just what the Internet used to be like.

Nature being the cruel prankster that it is, now when she gets pregnant, nobody will believe her.

Well, at least he likes one good band.

We’re pretty sure she didn’t want something honest, Valerie.

See, this is why we stopped using Skype and started going for a service with more reliable intelligent discussion. Like Chatroulette.

…wait, WHAT?!

We know this is probably fake. But, having been King fans for years, this is the kind of thing he loves doing. So we’re going to pretend this is real, just like the claims of Bill Murray playing peekaboo with random people and telling them “Nobody will believe you”.

Why is it Facebook insists on telling us about people who should never breed doing just that?

Where’s Stephen King when you need him?

What’s depressing is the “big girl” in this case is 30.

Wasn’t this a First World Problems meme?

Well, look on the bright side, it’s not like you were talking to each other. Or will be, in the future.

Here’s a Christmas carol for you:

all images courtesy Lamebook and Failbook