Farrah Abraham Has Some Horrible Sex Tape Advice For Her Poor Daughter

In Farrah Abraham‘s mind, there’s no question that her daughter’s eventually going to make a sex tape — it runs in the family, like football is with the Manning clan, except with more sacks and tight ends. So if the question’s not “if,” it’s “when,” as in, “When will Farrah’s daughter take up the family business and answer the Backdoor?” what’s Farrah going to do about it? She’s going to give some horrible advice.

“She probably won’t be saying that, she’ll be like ‘I HAD to try it,’ and then I’ll be like ‘oh, you already did it, so I’m just going to say make sure you know what you’re doing with it,’ because, you know, I’ll be like ‘this is what happened to me as your mom.’ It’s like mommy talk. It’s the birds and the bees, and so you just share ‘look, I learned this from it, I hope you don’t do that, read Celebrity Sex Tape, learn some lessons from Fallon Opal,’ but that’s really all I can say.” (Via)

“Really all I can say” = “if my daughter wants to have sex with dudes for money, then she should read my book — BUY MY BOOK BUY MY BOOK BUY MY BOOK — and learn some lessons from a ridiculously named character who sounds like a tampon brand and is probably loosely based on me.” That’s some post-post-post-post-post-parenting advice right there, and it’s all total hogwash.

Not nearly enough parents discuss their #brand while talking to their kids about sex.