FBI: Hackers Are The New Al-Qaeda

Hey, remember the Islamic fundamentalists we’ve all come to fear were going to kill us all because they hate freedom so much? Well they’re so the aughts. The new biggest threat to American liberty are hacking hackers, and we better all be ready to be butt-f*cked by masturbating computer geeks if we know what’s good for us, according to the director of the FBI.

FBI Director Robert Mueller reiterated his testimony before the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence…that cyber-threats would surpass terrorism as the country’s top concern.

`We are losing data, we are losing money, we are losing ideas and we are losing innovation,” Mueller said at the RSA Conference in San Francisco. “Together we must find a way to stop the bleeding.”

Counterterrorism is still the agency’s top priority, but the agency has retooled to prepare for Internet-based aggressors, Mueller said. Cyber-squads in every FBI field office now monitor for crimes ranging from mortgage and health care fraud to child exploitation and terror recruiting, he said.

Cue the calls from lawmakers in Washington for increased power over the internet. They only want to protect the American citizens from harm, after all. Everyone knows that.

(HT: Mashable. Image via Shutterstock)