Florida Man Arrested For Allegedly Driving Drunk Inside A Walmart

While thousands of Floridians are busy trying to kill every snake they can find in the Everglades, others now find themselves picking up the slack for the everyday news that we’ve come to expect from the Sunshine State. Timothy Carr apparently felt up to the challenge on Sunday night, when he entered a Brooksville (Tampa-ish) Walmart, grabbed an alcoholic beverage from a shelf, started boozing and took himself a little joyride on a motorized shopping cart.

The problem with that? You guessed it – retail theft and a DWI. Drunk driving INSIDE A WALMART!!!

Police say Sunday night, just before 9 o’clock, they found Carr inside the Walmart at 7305 Broad Street. Investigators say he was drunk, and driving around the store on a motorized shopping cart. They say he had removed an alcoholic beverage from a shelf, and was drinking it, while knocking other items off the shelves.

Police say Carr told them he did not have the money to pay for the alcohol he was drinking. Carr is a transient.

Carr had two previous arrests for retail theft, which made the current arrest a felony. (Via NBC News)

I can’t help but look at that mug shot and think that Dane Cook just traveled back in time to warn himself that when his 15 minutes end, things won’t be pretty, but then he just said, “F*ck it” and got drunk in a Walmart.

As for the moment of arrest, I like to think that the officers asked Carr what was going through his head when he decided to ransack a Walmart and he just pointed to this shirt rack:

(Original banner via, Swaggy tees via)