A Giant Earth-Destroying Storm Is No Match For Gerard Butler… And His Bro

Uproxx readers, which sort of blockbuster movie would you like to see?

  • The story of a satellite “designer” who is called upon to fix a deadly satellite that’s gone rogue
  • The story of two estranged brothers working out their differences to save the world
  • The story of an epic storm that was GASP! CREATED BY MAN!
  • The story of an assassination attempt on the president while he’s handling a space crisis
  • All of the above.

If you said “all of the above,” have I got a movie pitch for you.

Dean Devlin, author of such hits as Stargate, Independence Day, and Gladys: The Groovy Mule, has written another sci-fi action adventure film called Geostorm. It’s about a deadly global event that can only be conquered through I guess satellites… and somehow there’s an assassination attempt on the president at the same time and space and maybe donuts and brotherly love and also weather? It sounds like a hot mess to me, but I guess when you look back at it, Independence Day wasn’t so much about an alien invasion as it was single parents and father/son relationships and substance abuse and strippers with hearts of gold and the flu. And Bill Pullman gives a bitchin’ speech about ‘Murica.

So Warner Bros. has agreed to produce the project, and are even going to let Devlin direct, after he got some practice in on TNT’s Leverage. Just when you were like “Please stop, my heart can’t take any more action-packed excitement,” BAM! They cast Gerard Butler.

According to The Hollywood Reporter:

The story sees Butler playing a stubborn but charming satellite designer who, when the world’s climate-controlling satellites malfunction, has to work together with his estranged brother to save the world from a man-made storm of epic proportions.

That’s right. Even though Gerard Butler is busy this summer filming a Point Break remake that no one needs and absolutely no one asked for, he’ll be free in the Fall to film whatever Netflix fodder his agent can negotiate for him. Pretending to be a satellite “designer” (Why designer? Does he not engineer the satellites? Program the software? Does he merely make sure they are aesthetically pleasing? Circuit boards are all feng shui and whatnot?) is probably as easy to Butler as being a professor of archaeology. Just say “Oh my God!” a lot and act really astonished that there’s a script to everything.

Which, come to think of it, is probably his approach to playing Bhodi, too.

– But not really.