Giant Herring Found, WTF Is That?!?

05.12.10 9 years ago 2 Comments

So for the past 130 years, no one has seen any giant fish around the western coast of Sweden. Then Mother Nature smoked a little crack and decided that a 3.5 meter long GIANT OARFISH had better wash up off the coast of the small fishing village of Bovallstrand, about 90 kilometres from Norway’s border. Also in the headlines today: those night terrors that I had as a boy have just returned, because that thing is scary as dog sh-t!

Hold up, can The Straits Times please explain to me what the hell this is that I’m looking at, before I lose control of my bodily functions and ruin this diaper? Phew, thanks guys…

The rarely seen regalecus, the world’s longest bony fish, can reach up to 12 meters. ‘The last time we saw a King of Herrings in Sweden was in 1879,’ the House of the Sea museum in Lysekil, where the fish was taken to, said in a statement.

‘We don’t know much about the species,’ it said, ‘but believe it lives in deep waters, at least 1000 metres deep, and many believe it’s at the origin of the sea serpent myth,’ or stories of mythological sea creatures like the Loch Ness Monster.

I’d really love to see a Dos Equis ad where The Most Interesting Man In The World is in a bathtub talking about how he can’t reach certain parts of his body and then goes on to reveal, “and that is why I bathe with THE MOST INTERESTING FISH IN THE WORLD” and then the Giant Oarfish pops its head out of the bath and you can see that it’s got like three empty beers shoved down its throat. I don’t know, consider it a gift, Dos Equis marketing department. I’ve got plenty of these gems f–king around up here.

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