Gronk Would Like To Take Tebow’s Virginity

04.13.12 6 years ago 5 Comments

We mentioned a little while back that the University of Rhode Island was going to hold an event called “An Evening With Gronk”. Would it be the kind of high-minded, recherche symposium that we hope to expect from our institutions of higher learning? Or would it basically be a TED Talks about bro-ness and its effects on the global economy?

Judging from the above video, in which a student pitches Gronk a “Marry, F*ck, Kill” scenario with Rex Ryan, Tim Tebow and Betty White, I’m gonna guess the latter. Gronk goes on to say he would get up in them Tebow guts just to take his virginity. If there’s anything that religious people and the bro community share, it’s an obsession with virgins. Anyway, good of Gronk to take one for the team and deflower Teebs. It’ll probably do him some good.

The clip cuts out before we get the rest of his answer, though I guess you don’t want to marry Rex, what with having to star in foot fetish videos, among other grotesqueries. Plus, presumably Betty will kick off shortly anyway, and then you get that sweet, sweet “Golden Girls” money. Even though it’s probably safe to assume that any 90-year-old working as much as she does has some debts to pay off.

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