In a headline that will inspire the likes of Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, and Quentin Tarantino, a woman was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon when she admitted she was stowing a loaded pistol in her vagina. Originally, Ashley Cecilia Castaneda and her cohort Gabriel Garcia were caught by police near an elementary school — a drug-free zone — and charged with possession of over 30 grams of meth (makes sense now, right?).
When Castaneda was in the police vehicle, she admitted to having the gun, um, stowed away somewhere. Somewhere internal. Not a big gun, a little .22 caliber Smith and Wesson, but when it comes to guns, does size really matter? Can’t any gun shoot off a pretty dangerous load? Even a gun on the smaller side can get the job done if operated properly. And in a vagina, all it really takes is some solid kegels to get the right kind of grip and control…
Still with me? Because I’m betting that Ashley Cecilia Castaneda’s vagina can shoot you in the face if you take too long down there. This is how women get what they want: by doing sexy, life-threatening things like putting deadly weapons in our vaginas. Don’t call us scary — call us blunt.