This Guy Built A Real-Life ‘Fort Kickass’ So He Wouldn’t Have To Talk To His Girlfriend

News Editor
06.19.15 3 Comments
fortkickass5

Craigslist

The guy in this photo went to great lengths to avoid “a conversation” with his girlfriend. She must have wanted to talk about feelings. This guy is far too cool to feel anything. Instead of breaking up with her like a human being would do, he decided to build his own Fort Kickass as featured on Archer. Girlfriend’s “authority” shall not be “recognized” in such a sacred space.

The dude gathered the cushions from what looks like several different couches. He grabbed the dog, some beer, and a pizza. There he sat, all alone in his Fort Kickass, before realizing he had no friends. Shocking, isn’t it? So he placed an ad on Craigslist to find some bros:

MY GIRLFRIEND SAID SHE WANTED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT ME BEING TOO CHILDISH, BUT SHE DIDN’T KNOW THE PASSWORD TO GET IN.

SO SPACE IS NOW AVAILABLE…

FORT FEATURES WIFI & A GREAT VIEW OF THE TV FOR NETFLIX

SET UP IN THE CORNER, SO ITS ALWAYS 90 DEGREES INSIDE.

HAS BIG FUZZY GUARD DOG FOR SECURITY. UNLESS YOU HAVE PIZZA. THEN HES WORTHLESS.

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (unless you have pizza)

RESPOND WITH YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER IN THE SUBJECT.
NAME ALL 151 ORIGINAL POKEMON, AND DESCRIBE YOUR PREFECT SUNDAY.

IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY, GATHER THE DRAGON BALLS, AND CONTACT PROFESSOR HUBERT FARNSWORTH; PLANET EXPRESS, NEW NEW YORK.

This very act proved that this guy’s girlfriend had a point in calling him “childish.” The sh*t must have hit the fan once he had to go to the bathroom. If the girlfriend possessed any self-respect at all, she was long gone by the time dudebro emerged.

(Via BroBible)

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