Hey Man, About That Abominable Snowman Finger…

Now I’ve never actually seen a Nepalese yeti finger before, but I like to think it’d look like some kind of withered, giant Jaquita banana. By no means am I a professional, but apparently scientists over at Edinburgh Zoo in London share the same instincts. Recently they were asked to determine via DNA testing whether or not a suspected Abominable Snowman finger was in fact a trinket from the mythic beast. Turns out it was only a human finger. Man, I hate human fingers.

Primatologist Ian Redmond said: “From what we know of accounts of Yetis, I would have expected a more robust and longer finger and possibly with some hair on the back.

“Human was what we were expecting and human is what we got.” [BBC]

The finger had been hiding out at the Royal College of Surgeons, where it was recently rediscovered, since the 1950s. Apparently, as the story goes, an American explorer stole the finger from a Nepalese monastery, where he replaced the artifact with a fake human finger. Concealing what he thought was the real yeti finger, the explorer then handed off the suspected relic to Hollywood star James Stewart, who then smuggled the finger back into the United States with help from his wife. Sixty years later and here we are: testing old candy bars to determine what the hell they are.

So, bad news today for any yeti fans out there, however it’s a great day for everyone who enjoys human fingers. Party on.