The March 1 episode of The Howard Stern Show was a fairly typical one. He and Robin discussed Erin Andrews, and Stephanie Tanner’s breasts on Fuller House, and Whoopi Goldberg’s shoulder tattoo, and Tina Fey’s new movie Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, and the funniest prank call ever, and… wait, what?
Stern is a walking prank call encyclopedia, and according to the transcription/fan website, Marks Friggin, “Howard said that might be the greatest phony phone call ever.” It involves a Peyton Manning impersonator calling into a sports talk radio program to say “Cam Newton is a little cry baby bitch… Everyone is calling me a rapist lately, but you don’t see me crying about it.” That’s a reference to Manning allegedly sexually assaulting a University of Tennessee trainer in 1996, an incident that was treated with the lack of seriousness you’d expect from an impersonator on Crazy Ira and the Douche. “Jeez,” fake-Peyton said, “you put your nuts on an unsuspecting woman’s face once, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re an asshole.”
The call goes on from there, covering panty raids, “Manning sauce,” the “black pecker parade in the locker room,” and, in the sing-song melody of his Nationwide jingle, “Eli has a three-inch cock.” Were the radio hosts in on the joke? Possibly, but I’ll take Stern’s word for it. Listen below.