Spoiler alert, if you tell a wild bear in the first act, “Thank you for leaving my kayak alone!” before unloading a can of pepper spray directly into its face, you better believe your kayak is going to be bear chow before the play is over. Such was the case in this video uploaded to YouTube by a woman who was on a solo kayaking trip from Ketchikan, Alaska to Petersburg, Alaska. Which is an impressive feat, do not get me wrong! I know that I couldn’t kayak, like, 150 or so miles by myself. However, I think perhaps the “solo” aspect of her trip might have been a mistake because I don’t think her survival skills are up to snuff.
It’s difficult to know what any of us would do in the heat of the moment when stranded in the wilderness while a bear gleefully destroys our only mode of transportation, but loudly whining and shrieking at the bear, “Bear, please stop! Please stop that! Stop that! Stop that!” over and over are probably not going to improve your chances of survival.
On the plus side, I think we have a contender for the new most annoying sound in the world right around the 1:25 mark.