An Irish Man Suffered A Five-Week Erection After A Mountain Bike Crash

Step right up and spin the wheel, and let’s see if we can’t find us the lede of the week!

What goes up must come down — unless you’re a mountain biker whose pecker stays erect for so long that medical intervention is necessary.

That line comes courtesy of the Irish Examiner’s Gordon Deegan, who brings us the cringe-worthy story of a 22-year old gentleman from the Emerald Isle who suffered quite the unusual injury after a mountain biking accident. While some of the details of the incident are vague and the timeframe is a mess, it is known that the biker somehow landed crotch-first on his handlebars, causing one of the strangest injuries that you’ll ever read about. Guys, you might want to cross your legs for this one.

A 22 year old male presented with a five week history of ongoing priapism after he had sustained a blow to perineum when he fell on to the crossbar of his mountain bike.

The perineum? Oh, you mean the taint! Please continue, distinguished authors of the Irish Medical Journal.

Perineal pain, swelling and bruising had settled within days but he had ongoing priapism with rigid erection. Examination revealed no signs of injury but the penis was erect. Manual compression caused resolution of erection but the penis rapidly refilled with blood to full tumescence. Cavernous blood gas analysis was in keeping with arterial blood. Initial management involved pressure dressing for two weeks but release of pressure caused immediate recurrence of priapism, typical of high flow category.

Confusing medical terminology aside, the basic gist of this pointy tale is that this guy walked around with an erection for five weeks after the accident, before he finally decided to seek medical treatment. The doctors were able to debonerfy him for two weeks after that, but once they removed the pressure dressing – BOING! – the erection returned. Finally, the doctors had to roll up their sleeves and get serious.

Medics eventually treated the man after inserting gel foam and four tiny platinum coils at an abnormal connection between an artery and a vein that supplied blood to the man’s penis. This reduced the high-flow blood supply to the penis, ending the erection.

One of the medics, consultant intervention radiologist at Tallaght Hospital Ronan Browne, said yesterday: “We were very happy with the outcome.

“It was an anxious time for the patient, as it would be for any young man.”

The man received a sedative but was conscious for the procedure. (Via the Irish Examiner)

What’s the thought process during this procedure? I’d imagine it’s hard to look. I’d at least ask for a TV that I could watch. Maybe some Seinfeld reruns or the last season of Archer. Either way, a tip of the mushroom cap to this guy for his contribution to medicine. May his ordeal one day save millions of other men who crotch-plant on their mountain bikes.

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