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Jimmy Kimmel Consoles A Boozy, Despondent Geoffrey The Giraffe Over Toys ‘R’ Us Closing

When Toys R’ Us announced that it would be closing all of its nearly 800 stores across the United States this week, the news was met with sadness by many who still hold a deep-seeded nostalgia for the chain, even if they now probably do all their toy shopping online. But perhaps no one will mourn the demise of the once ubiquitous toy chain more than its big orange mascot (no, not that one), Geoffrey the Giraffe.

For years, Geoffrey’s smiling face greeted children as they entered the glowing doors of Toys R’ Us stores, but now, sadly, those times are over. On Thursday night Jimmy Kimmel was visited by Geoffrey, who was just in pieces over the news.

“I have a question for everyone here, do you like toys?” asked Geoffrey, moments after being welcomed out on stage. “Well I don’t have any, because we’re bankrupt,” he continued, sinking down onto his knees and sobbing. Kimmel then attempted to console Geoffrey, telling him everything was going to be okay. “No it’s not,” he shot back. “Because all of you bitches bought toys on Amazon,” he continued, pointing at the audience. “Now I’m out of a job.”

Things only got more depressing as Kimmel then detected the odor of alcohol on Geoffrey’s breath, who then proceeded to have a full-on meltdown on stage before being escorted away by Guillermo. Poor Geoffrey. But heck, maybe Amazon is hiring?

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