Yesterday was Columbus Day, a national holiday that most decent-minded people would like effectively canceled and replaced with Indigenous Peoples Day since Christopher Columbus was a genocide-committing monster. But for now it is what it is, so in honor of the most terrible of holidays (right behind April Fool’s Day), Jimmy Kimmel did a Lie Witness News segment in which he asked people on the street what they thought of President Donald Trump’s controversial next Supreme Court pick, wait for it … Christopher Columbus.
Given Trump’s apparent admiration for the guy, if somehow it were possible that the science could mine DNA and bring Columbus back to life to sit on the highest court in the land, you know he’d probably be all in for that. But even Trump surely knows that Christopher Columbus is no longer alive and therefore not eligible for the Supreme Court. A few of the people interviewed on the subject however, did not!
One young woman, when asked what she thought, said that “it was so long ago in the past and there’s not enough evidence to back it up,” apparently getting Columbus confused for Brett Kavanaugh. Although to her credit, she did later admit that former President Obama’s pick Marco Polo would have done a better job, so we guess that’s progress?
Just kidding! We’re definitely all doomed.