The Latest ‘First Kiss’ Parody, ‘First Sh*t’ Is Both Funny And Horrifying

Friends of mine were having a very important discussion the other night, and asked me if I ever used a “landing pad” while pooping in public — which is apparently that thing where you stuff a bunch if toilet paper in the toilet first so nobody hears the plops. My response was that no, I don’t ever use a landing pad, because I don’t poop in public, PERIOD. There have been a couple of times where I’ve had emergency, uh, illness situations and somehow when faced when having to use a public restroom my sphincter goes into fight or flight mode and shuts the operation down. I don’t even like to poop in my own home if we have houseguests and to be perfectly honest, I’d prefer that my husband not be home either.

Which is why this First Kiss parody video by Funny Or Die, First Sh*t, is the stuff my nightmares are made of:

Oops: That Touching Viral Video Of Strangers Kissing Was Actually Just An Ad For Clothes
Watch This Sweet, Beautiful Film Of Strangers Jerking Each Other Off For The First Time