Mad Men Discussion: Fat Betty Draper Francis Is FAT FAT FAT

Let me start this off with an admission: I was kinda drunk when I came home last night and watched Mad Men. It was also kind of late. So I should probably go back and watch it a second time. I worry that my feelings about this episode — my hatred for which we’ll get to in a second — may be a little tainted due to drunken rage and sleepiness, especially considering that I loved last week’s episode.

Whatever, I hate Betty Draper Francis. There, I said it. And the only person I hate more than Betty Draper Francis is fat Betty Draper Francis.

– So yeah, last week everyone wondered, “Where’s Betty Draper?” Well now we know. She was eating the mid 1960s. Betty Draper is fat. FAT. And whiny and miserable as ever. We know this with the first couple of minutes of last night’s show. God help us all.

And naturally, there’s a Fat Betty Draper Twitter feed in existence. Tagline: “If there’s 3 things I love it’s Bugles, ice cream sundaes, and ATTENTION!”

– The Rolling Stones! Thanks for reminding us that they’re that old, Matt Weiner.

– “There are pills you can take for that.” — Betty’s equally awful mother-in-law Pauline, summarizing the America of the past 50 years in a single sentence.

– Ugh, Betty calls Don when she gets the news that she may have cancer. He’s the first person she tells. Don breaks out his signature term of endearment for her: “Birdy.” The title of the episode is “Tea Leaves.” I think it’s clear that Matt Weiner is setting it up for the two of them to end up back in each other’s arms. Though it’s not exactly a surprise, this pisses me off because it just doesn’t seem plausible at this point — Don’s got a little French-Canadian f*ck bunny at home eager to satisfy his every whim. I don’t care about the bond he and Betty share because they had kids together. Too soon. And Betty sucks. Period.