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A Man’s Marriage Is In Trouble After His Wife’s Ouija Board Accused Him Of Cheating

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Reddit is a useful place with a community for any niche interest you may have from startled cats to children falling over. It’s not all gifs and giggles, though. The site helps many people through subreddits devoted to dieting and working out and relationship advice. The relationships sub is especially helpful if you need a couple hundred opinions on your inter-personal issue, as this anonymous man did after his wife’s Ouija board accused him of cheating.

I realize this is really weird, but my wife has an ouija board that she uses to talk to her grandfather and has for a few years. Weird stuff has happened with the board, like it telling her I shouldn’t go to work the next day, then I got in a serious car accident the next day. These little (and sometimes big) things have led to her believing it’s real and that her grandfather really is talking to her.

Last night, the board told her I’m cheating on her. She is so sure she’s talking to her grandpa that she believes it and wants to go to counseling. Problem is, I’m not cheating on her and think it’s her subconscious telling her something she’s afraid of. I initially agreed to counseling, but she told me she wants to go to one who’s “open,” meaning “new age.” Meaning the counselor will probably believe the board too.

There is no way I can convince my wife that she is not actually talking to her grandfather. She’s convinced, religiously so. Not sure what to do here.

It’s a hilarious problem until you realize this guy’s eight year marriage is on the rocks over it. And it’s really hard to disprove a negative … especially when it’s a spirit making the accusation! To make things worse, the Ouija board gave his wife the name of a woman he works with, someone he claims he’s “not even remotely attracted to” — but tell that to the Ouija board!

Many Redditors responded to the post with sarcastic advice:

I say fight fire with fire. Buy some Transformers figures and say that Optimus Prime is saying you don’t need to do the dishes. When she takes issue, mention that you’re taking advice from a children’s toy produced by Hasbro, just like she is.

And…

Only the Magic 8 Ball can settle this. Be sure to ask the same question three times, best answer out of three wins.

Then there were those who tackled the problem from the perspective of the Ouija board being legit:

If you listen to anyone who actually does stuff with the supernatural, they say to NEVER mess with an ouija board. Ouija boards tend to attract negative energy, so more than likely the “thing” she’s communicating with is either a bad spirit or even a demon. Even if you don’t believe in the supernatural, this board is becoming a negative point in her life. It needs to be gone (don’t burn it!) for her sanity as well as your own.

As for why you should never burn a Ouija board…

When you use the board a ‘spirit’ or something supposedly gets ‘bound’ or attached or whatever to that board. The board has symbols thats supposed to make this (somewhat but not really) safe and bind the spirit from coming through. Burning destroys the symbols and releases the spirit. If you bury it, it can take years to rot. In this time the ‘spirit’ forgets what it is again and forgets to come after you (because you woke it up/ are vunerable to it after communicating with it).

Well that’s terrifying. Fortunately there were skeptics out there reminding everyone that Ouija boards are bunk:

You put a blindfold on her when she’s talking to the ouija board, rotate the board so she doesn’t know where the letters are. That’s an easy way to show that it’s all ideomotor effect and not real.

And the rationalists looking at the big picture…

Even if you solve this, you and your wife have a time bomb now. Let say you somehow convince your fervent spiritualist wife that you are not cheating. We all know these boards are controlled by the operator. So ultimately – your wife does not trust you. So you get past this – but she keeps talking to gramps. What else is he going to say bout you? And how will you fight that? And how will you endure this pattern repeating for the rest of your life?

Sadly, there was no simple solutions for this man’s marital woes. As usual, the general consensus was to seek marriage counselling, and if the wife gets to insist the person has a “new age” bent then the husband should be allowed to insist they must be accredited as well.

(via Reddit)

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