Man Arrested For Assaulting His Girlfriend With … Easter Eggs?

A Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania man, Aaron Goempel, 27, was taken into custody late Saturday night after Easter Egg dyeing — typically a wholesome activity — went awry and he attacked his girlfriend with hard-boiled eggs before attempting to stab police officers with a sword, kicking one of them in the nuts.

We all know that domestic violence is nothing to laugh at, but I seriously would not want to get on this dude’s bad side while decorating the Christmas tree. From TribLive:

Police said they responded to reports of a fight inside a Wareman Avenue apartment and found a woman whose right eye was red and swollen. She told three officers that when accusing Goempel of cheating on her, he became agitated and began hurling eggs at her. He barricaded himself in the bedroom with an exercise machine against the door, police said.

Once officers got through the door, Goempel reached for a row of knives and swords atop his dresser. Police got him under control and took him to a cruiser, where they said he started yelling racist obscenities at one of the officers and then kicked another in the groin.

No word on whether or not there was any validity to the cheating claims, but if I were the girlfriend I’d probably be OK with letting the other woman, you know, have him — as difficult as it must be to cut loose a guy with a sweet sword collection.