Mark Zuckerberg Once Served Jack Dorsey A Goat He Killed Personally

01.23.19 6 months ago

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If it’s seemed lately that the movie The Social Network was, if anything, too easy on Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg, it’s now clear it didn’t make him weird enough either. Twitter honcho Jack Dorsey — basically the Penguin to Zuckerberg’s Joker — spoke to Rolling Stone recently, and in between trying to explain why they haven’t banned Nazis from his service and thankfully revealing he’ll never enter politics, he had a fun story about how his fellow social media scourge had a year where he only ate animals he personally killed.

Dorsey doesn’t specify when the encounter took place, or how often the two hang out and talk about how they very well could have planted the seeds for the end of civilization. Mashable deduced that it may have taken place in 2011, when Zuckerberg decided to kill animals — a decision that turned him into “basically” a vegetarian. Whatever the case, it involved a goat that may or may not have been killed by a laser gun.

What was your most memorable encounter with Zuckerberg?
Well, there was a year when he was only eating what he was killing. He made goat for me for dinner. He killed the goat.
In front of you?
No. He killed it before. I guess he kills it. He kills it with a laser gun and then the knife. Then they send it to the butcher.
A . . . laser gun?
I don’t know. A stun gun. They stun it, and then he knifed it. Then they send it to a butcher. Evidently in Palo Alto there’s a rule or regulation that you can have six livestock on any lot of land, so he had six goats at the time. I go, “We’re eating the goat you killed?” He said, “Yeah.” I said, “Have you eaten goat before?” He’s like, “Yeah, I love it.” I’m like, “What else are we having?” “Salad.” I said, “Where is the goat?” “It’s in the oven.” Then we waited for about 30 minutes. He’s like, “I think it’s done now.” We go in the dining room. He puts the goat down. It was cold. That was memorable. I don’t know if it went back in the oven. I just ate my salad.
It’s hard to find a metaphor in that.
I don’t know what you’re going to do with that, but hopefully that’s not the headline. Revenge is a dish best served warm. Or cold.

Goat, by the way, is one of the healthiest and most delicious animals one can consume. Perhaps the real takeaway is that, for all his faults, at least Dorsey knows the importance of properly cooking one’s meat.

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