Meet The Dumbest Criminal Ever Who Incriminated Himself With A Pre-Robbery Selfie

Kevin Lawson, a 28-year-old Knox County, Tennessee resident, was arrested late last week after breaking into the Copes Market where he made away with rifles, handguns, knives, cigarettes, chewing tobacco, as well as various food items, because clearly he is a man of the finer things in life (Corn Nuts or GTFO). Also, you know, just your run-of-the-mill Tennessee market where you can run out and pick up a carton of milk and a Winchester, no big deal.

Anyway, he just might have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for the fact that he made sure to snap a quick selfie of himself in his robbing outfit beforehand. The Smoking Gun reports:

Since “Kevin had worn gloves during the burglary,” no fingerprints were recovered at the market, reported investigators, who added that they located the gloves in the yard of a neighbor of Lawson’s.

Lawson allowed deputies to examine his cell phone, a review that, deputies reported, yielded “a (Selfie) picture that he had taken of himself wearing the mask prior to the burglary.”

So not only did he leave 100% irrefutable evidence of the crime sitting around on his phone, but he also threw his gloves in his neighbor’s yard? The only way this guy could have made this even more obvious is if he checked in with Foursquare. Because he probably would still use Foursquare. “Copes Market: Nice firearm selection. Try the meatball sub. Three and a half stars.”

Even the kid from Problem Child is all, you suck, dude.