Dumb: Selling drugs to an undercover cop. Dumber: Selling a cheap breakfast pastry disguised as drugs to an undercover cop. But that’s just what a 30-year-old Halifax, North Carolina man did. Cameron Mitchell, who has the names of both of the gay dads on Modern Family, was arrested earlier this month on charges of selling or delivering a counterfeit controlled substance and creating a counterfeit controlled substance, after he sold $20 of crushed up Pop-Tarts to an undercover agent under the guise that is was cocaine.
Deputies say on June 19, during Operation Southern Summer, Mitchell was making a delivery to a convenience store in the town of Halifax when he came in contact with an undercover agent. During the conversation, Mitchell allegedly agreed to sell crack cocaine to the agent. Deputies say Mitchell went to the cab of his delivery truck and came back with what he said was crack cocaine. He allegedly sold it to the agent for $20.
Agents field tested the evidence, and it was negative for the presence of cocaine. They went looking for Mitchell’s delivery truck and found it at another convenience store on Highway 561. Agents say Mitchell told them he needed the money, so he went into his truck and found the corner of a Pop-Tart, then sold it to the agent as crack cocaine.
I feel like this story is missing some very important details. What kind of Pop-Tart was it? S’mores? Brown Sugar Cinnamon? All I know is that it better not have been one of those bullsh*t unfrosted fruit ones, because then they’d also need to charge him on grounds of having crappy taste in Pop-Tarts.