Monday Night Drinking Bingo: Violent, Dangerous Cities Edition

12.16.13 5 years ago 56 Comments

The Rules:

Clearly the matchup calls for the best of the best so may I suggest the official state drink of Michigan- Thunderbird wine paird with salt ‘n’ vinegar pork rinds.

“Whats the word? Thunderbird! Whats the price? Dollar twice!”

Just delicous, delicous stuff folks. If you dont have thunderbird IceHouse is pretty much the malt liquor of beers so that will do. Take 5 seconds drink for every square you get, and if your get a bingo you have to drink one beer every 5 minutes until Calvin Johnson does something that makes you seriously think maybe hes a alien or something. Just get drunk here really is the goal folks.

Game Analysis: Both teams are battletested from having to live, commute, and work in the cities of Detroit and Baltimore so this is basically going to be a street fight. The Lions are “hosting” the Ravens in Detroit which is like me saying I’ll “host” a party at my place but its just going to be me in a field somewhere using snuff tobacco liberaly and getting handsy with your crush. Im calling this game the “CSI Bowl” and will use the following advance stats and metrics to determine whose going to win: Which city has the most dangerous TV shows and movies set in it?


  • Robocop
  • Detroit 187
  • Rasheed Wallace lives there
  • The parts of Red Dawn where it looks like the USA has been literally invaded by a Chinese


  • The Wire
  • Homicide
  • Ray Lewis lives there
  • Sum of all Fears where they needed a city to look like it got him by a literally atomic bomb

Advantage: Baltimore

Both teams are still alive in the playoff hunt but they’re mostly driven because spending a week in a Febuary New York snowstorm would actually be a marked improvement over the masstransit options in there respective citys. It should be a high scoring game though and fun to watch unless your in the fantasy playoffs going up verse Calvin Johnson tonight. Good luck and godbless folks

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