An 18-year-old from Texas named Grant Thompson is dead after suffering cardiac arrest as a result of a possible snake bite. When first responders answered a distress call that Thompson was in his car with puncture wounds, a menagerie of animals — including tarantulas and other non-poisonous snakes — was also found… except for a monocled cobra. That snake, which is poisonous, was also missing from a cage in Thompson’s home, which has led investigators to believe that the deadly snake is now on the loose in the Austin area.
Now, an autopsy will have to be conducted to conclude that Thompson’s death was caused by the snake bite, so that is not his official cause of death as of this writing. But it is very suspicious, and police are warning people who come across any snake to just “turn around and walk away.” Do not engage the snake. I repeat: do not engage the motherf*cking snake. But if you see a snake resembling the one above, with the eyeball-looking thing on its back, local reporter Adela Uchida has a phone number you can call:
Remember: it’s a monocled cobra. Living in Texas. Might be wearing a monocle, might be wearing cowboy boots, will definitely bite and kill you until you’re dead.
Stay safe, Austin.