An Upstanding New Jersey Man Wiped His Butt With His Summons And Threw It At A Cop


Keeping a cool head is key when dealing with any authority figures, especially those charged with upholding the law. One New Jersey man found this out the hard way, according to an indictment filed last week. In an incident that took place back in June, 45-year-old Joseph Greenwood received a summons following his release from jail, where he had been cited for threatening an assault.

After having received his summons, he showed an officer just what he thought of it, “specifically by taking the summons complaint issued to him upon his release from police custody, placing it in between his butt cheeks, wiping the paper in an upward and downward motion, and throwing it in the direction of the officer,” as detailed in the indictment.

Now Greenwood is facing felony charges for subjecting a police officer to “contact with a bodily fluid,” which seems like it will have a substantially worse outcome than the threats of assault he was initially brought in for. That’s like going to the dentist for a cleaning and finding out you need a root canal… by wiping your butt with the x-rays and throwing them at the dentist. Or not. There’s really no perfect analogy for this scenario, when you think about it.

(Via The Smoking Gun)