Nick Cannon Wore Whiteface To Remind Everyone He’s Corny As F*ck

03.25.14 5 years ago 58 Comments

There’s only one surefire way to make sure something you do isn’t offensive: make it funny. Patrice O’Neal could toe the line on misogyny because he was hilarious and nuanced. Louis C.K. calls his own kids little sh*ts because he’s one of the funniest men around. If you’re funny, then nothing is off-limits.

Nick Cannon hasn’t been funny since he said “Hey, guys, I’m gonna make a rap song dissing Eminem.” His latest attempt at comedy has sparked a debate or something about how appropriate White or Black face is. For the most part, the Internet is coming down on him for being insensitive. But really, he’s just not f*cking funny. At all. That’s his biggest sin.

As a result of his recent Instagram antics, some White people have raised the flag of equality and asked why they can’t wear blackface because those are the stupidest White people. However, all of this isn’t their fault. It’s Nick’s fault for being unfunny.

Remember when Eddie Murphy went out as a White guy for a day for an SNL skit? That was hilarious. It was also 30 years ago. Nick Cannon, though, is on the cutting edge of comedy by pointing out the fact that White people do yoga and kiss their dogs on the mouth and skate. They also think that Nick Cannon is a cornball. No, I haven’t asked any White people about this fact, but since White people are people, I assume they agree that Nick Cannon is a cornball.

This is all to promote Cannon’s new album called White People Party Music. *Rubs temple* Nevermind. I quit.

And THIS is the guy with the most impressive resume of hot women in the modern showbiz era? See, this is why women [comment redacted] and they [comment redacted] all the damn time with their [comment redacted] a$$es.

I think I’ve digressed. The moral here is f*ck Nick Cannon for all the think pieces and race debates we’re going to have to listen to just because he has no ability to make human beings laugh. Thanks, Obama.

Around The Web

UPROXX Twitter