North Korea Threatens To Attack The ‘Cesspool Of Terrorism’ That Is The U.S.

First North Korea offered its assistance in the ongoing investigation to determine the source of the Sony Hack otherwise blamed on them, then Anonymous threatened to release The Interview. For a totalitarian dictatorship that can barely feed its starving population, life hasn’t been too kind to those north of the Demilitarized Zone. That’s probably why they felt the need to verbally lash out at the United States, a country they could totally take on in a geopolitical schoolyard fight.

According to the AP, the word from Pyongyang is a bitter, nasty one:

The National Defense Commission, led by [Kim Jong Un], warned that its 1.2 million-member army is ready to use all types of warfare against the U.S.

“Our toughest counteraction will be boldly taken against the White House, the Pentagon and the whole U.S. mainland, the cesspool of terrorism, by far surpassing the `symmetric counteraction’ declared by Obama,” said the commission’s Policy Department in a statement carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

As anyone with an eighth grade reading level knows, this kind of animosity is “routine” considering North Korea’s international hissy fit over a film that’s actually not that good. I mean, everyone likes a stoner comedy now and then, but the need for decent (re: actually funny) humor is high once your general demeanor is no longer the equivalent of the audience at a Phish concert.

If North Korea does attack, which they won’t, I suspect something more akin to this will ensue:

Source: AP