‘Nurse 3D’ Uses 3D Cinema To Its Obvious End

Hollywood’s appetite for 3D remains undimmed, even as audiences run away in droves. But honestly, it was really only a matter of time before somebody made a movie about drunken lesbian hookups in three dimensions. Kudos to Nurse 3D for finally giving up and going straight for the obvious!

Starring Paz De La Huerta from Boardwalk Empire and Katrina Bowden from 30 Rock, Nurse 3D is ostensibly a horror movie about Paz pulling a Single White Female on Bowden after a drunken lesbian hookup, because the two look so much alike, and luring cheating scumbags to a bloody, violent end. Or at least that’s what the marketing materials are claiming. The trailer indicates the horror might have taken a backseat to the other reason bad ’80s horror movies are so popular:

We’re pretty sure that 90% of this trailer has, at minimum, a cast member in a short skirt or a downshirt boob shot. As for the actual quality of the movie, to be honest, it’s likely terrible. All you really need to know is that Lionsgate, a company that will put out pretty much anything, sat on this for two years before dumping it in theaters February 7th.

That said, we’re sure it will make money. We’d just recommend going to see this in a theater that cleans the 3D glasses it recycles.