Olive Garden Will Start Making Sandwiches On ‘Breadstick’ Buns

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “This Olive Garden breadstick is great and all, but why can’t it just be slightly bigger and stuffed with meat and cheese?” Well, you’re probably a pothead. A pothead whose lucky day is today because Olive Garden has just announced a new line of breadstick bun sandwiches!

Starting June 1, Olive Garden will be offering chicken parmigiana and meatball sandwiches, complete with breadstick buns. The Associated Press wrote that the breadsticks will be the exact same recipe as Olive Garden’s standard breadsticks, so consumers needn’t worry about any inferior fake-ass breadstick buns masquerading as the real thing.

The addition of the breadstick sandwiches are just the latest attempt to revamp Olive Garden’s menu and marketing as sales have declined for the past three of its fiscal years. Justin Sikora, a Darden representative, said the breadsticks used for the sandwiches will be a bit shorter and wider than the regular breadsticks.

As with all other dishes, the sandwiches come with unlimited breadsticks.

This whole thing sounds like it was something Xzibit conceived of in a fever dream. “Yo, dawg. I hear you like Olive Garden breadsticks, so I put a sandwich in your breadstick and then went ahead and gave you unlimited breaksticks with your breadstick.”