Ah, the one-night stand, when you (often drunkenly) sleep with someone you never intend to see again, or if you’re Finch from America Pie, call the cops because your house guest won’t leave and she’s pulled a knife on you. Everyone either has a story, or knows someone who has one, and they’re almost always hilarious. Especially when poop is involved. Redditors were asked to share their “worst experience of waking up after a one-night stand,” and boy, they did not disappoint. Here are 10 of the best responses, ranked from least to most uncomfortable.
10. Parent-teacher conference… in bed
The man I spent the night with had a child who was also my student. It was an awkward breakfast.
9. Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve
After my first night with my eventually ex-husband he rolled over and asked, “Jennifer did we have sex last night?” My name is not Jennifer. should’ve run at that point.
8. He’s not even mad, that’s amazing
She was actually really cute and she got up to leave so I just said lock the door behind you because super hungover. So finally I make my way out of bed and she had taken all of the food in my house along with my blender like how the f*ck did you pull this off?!
7. Employee of the month on Mom
Hooked up with a cougar from the bar at which I worked. Woke up the next morning to sounds coming from the kitchen. She says it’s her son. For some reason she also mentions he’s starting a new job that day. I say a brief hello to him as I leave the house. Guess who showed up at my work for training later that day.