Paramount Sci-Fi Rumor Dump Is Go!

Senior Contributor
08.20.10 5 Comments

It’s always a great day for bloggers when some intern at a movie studio screws up and forwards a sensitive memo to all his friends. So thanks to whichever coffee monkey accidentally sent his buddies this list, because it’s got plenty of juicy stuff. We’re going to break it down by “Happening” and “Maybe”

Happening

“World War Z”: Looks like the new script is beloved by the studio, so it’s a go, with Brad Pitt on board and Marc Forster directing.  Man, I hope Forster discovers a sense of humor between now and shooting.

“G.I. Joe 2”: Apparently this is happening, and will be directed by Stephen Sommers again.  Let’s warm up all those “raped my childhood” comments now, because the original show was such a classic it must be as respected as the Bible.

“Twilight Zones”: Either this is a musical project he’s working on, or Sopranos mastermind David Chase has realized that he is fated for better things.  Boy, we hope this is a new Twilight Zone movie.  If not, what the hell, Paramount?

“Star Trek”: J.J. Abrams is writing it.  How hard is it to type up “LENS FLARE” repeatedly?  It’s not like the last one had a plot or anything else memorable.

“My Mother’s Curse”: Seth Rogen plays a loveable inventor and Barbara Streisand is his mom.  They go on the road together.  The good news: this script was on the “Black List”, a list of the best unproduced scripts.  The bad news is that it’s being directed by hack Anne Fletcher.

Maybe

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”: Apparently this is a big priority, but the current script is crap.

“Hasbro Factory”: A “Night at the Museum” knockoff taking place in Hasbro’s factory.  So basically it would be set in Rhode Island, which is New England’s version of Jersey.  Oh, yeah, this won’t suck wildly.

“Baywatch”: Dear God.  They’re actually doing it.

“Max Steel”: Has “lost momentum”.  That’s good, it’ll give Taylor Lautner time to develop something resembling a personality and get out of puberty.

“Zoolander 2”: OH GOD WHY?!  Let me just remind you that this is the same studio that torpedoed “Anchorman 2”.

“Existence 2.0”: Written by Alfred Gough and Mark Millar.  That’s enough to either have you excited or sending you running screaming from this post.

So, what out of this fairly mediocre pile of movies are you looking forward to?  Aside from “World War Z”, which cannot help but kick ass.

[ via The Wrap ]

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