A new supervillain is terrorizing the Philadelphia neighborhood of Mayfair, armed with nothing more than sliced cheese and a very specific sexual fetish. The Mayfair Town Watch reported on its Facebook page Saturday that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been harassing neighborhood women, imploring them to harness the power of cheese for his own sexual gratification. Philly.com reports:
According to the group, the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.
A police source yesterday confirmed that the Special Victims Unit is investigating the man after several women from the Mayfair area filed reports describing similar encounters with a man displaying what the source called a “major sexual cheese fetish.”
Following the initial report, Philadelphia Magazine reporter Victor Fiorillo used sources, Facebook, and dating site OkCupid to track down and confront a 41-year-old man who looks identical to the Swiss Cheese Pervert (and has twice ducked charges of soliciting a prostitute by pleading guilty to disorderly conduct). Chris Pagano, who answered the door with his shirt off, denied the allegation (“Sometimes people confuse me with somebody else.”) and set his Facebook page to private immediately after the confrontation.
Among the evidence used by Fiorillo to pinpoint Pagano as The Swiss Cheese Pervert was a damning OkCupid message he sent to 20-year-old Gabby Chest last year. The most telling excerpt:
I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese. I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate. Now tho, after finding several girls to do it for me, I prefer having girls do it for me, instead of myself.
The Philadelphia Police Department has yet to name a suspect or make an arrest.