These Guys Divulged What They Thought At The Wedding Altar, And Uh, It’s Not Good

10.06.15 4 years ago


The fine Internet folks at Reddit seldom fail to amuse and enlighten. A glorious new thread promises to reveal the inner workings of the male mind during those awkward moments at the altar. The answers range from predictable to utterly strange and from ecstatic to bummed. Some men were full of regret while others couldn’t believe their sheer luck, so they messed the ceremony up in short order. Let’s get down to business, because some of these couples may not have been so lucky on their special nights.

The unfortunate isthisoneinvalidtoo should have listened to his instincts:

“‘This is a mistake… This is a mistake…’ We separated in June and are in the initial steps of divorce.”

This guy, willtheyeverlearn, endured a battle of wits with himself before enjoying a final moment of lucidity:

“Damnit my legs are starting to ache. Are you meant to stand with or without your knees locked? If I lock my knees I’ll fall over, right? Just don’t lean. Focus on your center of gravity. I mean I saw that episode of Frasier where he teaches Freddie to bend his knees slightly during the spelling bee, but that won’t look natural will it? Sh*t, act cool, people are watching. Holy f*ck I’m sweating. I bet they can tell. Her whole family’s just staring, judging, thinking about how this sweaty, swaying f*ck isn’t good enough for their daughter. Why’s she walking so slow? Jesus I should’ve worn a condom.”

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